The Ritual of The Fire

It has been awhile since I posted. I have had some old things come back into my life, that I did not dance with very well then, and have again proven, either I, or those things are not worthy. I can not decide which and does it really matter, all I know is what I have been doing has not been working for me. So soon again we will be parting ways. A brand new adventure.

This all being said the summer was fantastic. Lots of great hiking trips, or a few anyways in the Purcells, and Kootney National Park, one to Top Of The World Park. Not quite the pace or adventure level I am used to or like, but a nice slow lazy summer.

And now fall is here. Time to gather firewood, feel the nip on the nose, watch the leaves change on the Oak tree outside my living room window, for moments I almost feel the safety of my youth. Such a delicious feeling.

Last weekend the sound of the tree falling, the hum of the chainsaws. I was saying today that I truly do not have a home, as I gear up for another move. But the truth is that is a lie; the feeling that comes with fall settling in, IS home to me.

The fire burns tonight in the hearth and the beauty of the last 6 days leaves my mind stuttering. The stutter is blocking my soul from attaining the freedom I seek. But I reach for a time when the calmness of the beauty would wash over me, and I feel it near.

There were moments this week when I was at home. Sunday the lunar eclipse 4 days after the fall equinox, I drove from Golden BC, to Radium BC at around 9:30 PM. To try to describe it, I will only fail but I will try anyway. Nestled in a valley just west of the Rockies, the red glow of the moon and the carpet of stars urged me to pull to the side of the quiet silent road. As I stepped out of the car into the enveloping darkness, I felt the Universe wrap its arms around me. The embrace holding me close, but setting me free as I gazed to worlds and spirits I can only dream of.

Some days, I realize the noise, the constant noise, that is not true, blocks the view of the sky. The truth being the sound of the chainsaw, the crackle of the fire, these are the things I crave, I yearn for. Peace amongst the chaos.

This evening as I sit in front of the fireplace, the flames leaping, I know that I am right where I need to be. I reach forward, through the stage, past the actors, where they continue their show; I reach through the stage, past the actors and arrive in the present, where I am at home with myself.